You can almost imagine the tears welling up in his eyes as New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan lamented the rejection he received from Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic nominee for president, of his invitation to Al Smith’s annual charity dinner .

He said he was “doubly disappointed” by her refusal to attend. The cardinal has tried to convince the world that she is getting bad advice. Others have tried to convince her that a change of heart would allow her to demonstrate civility, elevate political discourse, show that she has nothing against Catholics, and so on.

Perhaps it would be best to stop here for a moment to catch our breath and think for a moment about who exactly should be put on the spot for engaging in less than civil behavior, and for contributing to the diminution of Catholic identity and credibility. in the public square.

Even in this age of the endless stream of things coming at us on all kinds of devices, it is possible to extract the reality from it all. In Trump’s case, the material almost surpasses social media’s ability to keep up.

But first, a quick look back at the cardinal’s role in all this, which extends to a well-documented recording of a phone call he made to Trump with other Catholic leaders in 2020. The two displayed a kind of unctuous, ecclesiastical-political bromance, with the former president calling the cardinal a “great gentleman” and a “great friend of mine.” He also nodded to an implied quid pro quo to pay attention to what his eminence “calls for.”

The Cardinal, the first to speak on the call, said he was “honored to be the leadoff batter, and the feelings are mutual, sir.” He also joked that he had called the president so many times in recent months that his mother in Missouri expressed a little jealousy.

He also praised the then-president for his support of Catholic schools, saying, “We need you more than ever.” Trump, in turn, declared himself the “best (president) in the history of the Catholic Church.”

As creepy as all that may be, the reality is much worse. Trump’s record is extensive, but tarnished by actions such as inciting an insurrection, paying off a porn star for her silence and placing children in cages at the border and separating them from their parents.

There is of course much more. It has all been visible to the public. But it seems we have become so numb to his destruction of norms that behavior that would have disqualified anyone from running for dogcatcher in a previous era is now tolerated at the level of the presidency.

The mistake – and the cardinal is certainly not the first or the last to make it – is to judge the moment as if it is somehow still linked to some degree of normality, or to what we have always known in presidential politics.

Yes, the Al Smith Dinner was once a place where, even amid the sharp politics of a presidential campaign, normal people could sit together, share a meal and a little levity, and walk away with their dignity and reputation intact. Trump changed all that. And it is absurd to act otherwise at this point.

The sin here isn’t that Kamala Harris had the good sense to respond, “No, thank you, I’ve been engaged before.” The real scandal is that the good Catholic cardinal of the great city of New York would not have the courage this year to say that the current Republican candidate is a walking example of so much that the Catholic Church finds abhorrent in contemporary politics that he is suspending the normal invitations.

The real controversy is that an event that touts its history of raising money for society’s neediest will host someone who is one of the culture’s biggest threats to that kind of care. The real outrage is that, given the public nature and extent of his abhorrent record, Trump should be invited to a fundraiser for an organization, Catholic Charities, that has long worked in the trenches to save lives on the far edges of society to save and transform. Tragically, this year’s guest of honor will be someone whose personal example and policy aspirations are on a collision course with the principles of Catholic social teaching.

We are triply disappointed, Cardinal Dolan, that in the name of the Church and its witness to the broader culture, this year you did not suspend the norm and invite someone worthy of the cause of the event. We are disappointed that you did not have the courage to stand up to Trump, a looming threat to the democratic ideals that allow the church to host such a high-profile public gathering.